well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
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when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
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He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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