I'm really into asian looking animals
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
im holly from the hills drunk
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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