Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
