I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
do nipples grow back?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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