oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
