I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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