ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
