Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
