Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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