it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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