8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
