you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
