Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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