Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
