I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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