The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
