1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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