Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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