Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
