Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
