Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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