There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
