it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
