I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
