i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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