Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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