I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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