I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
