It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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