OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
