I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The maid of honor just puked.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
