The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize