I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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