So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
