The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
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We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
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Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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