she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
