we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
