She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
