Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
