my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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