btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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