It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
