I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just want to make out with him forever
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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