.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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