Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
