Joe is yelling at the trees again.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
