Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
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