Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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