I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Is it because I queefed?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
