Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
