Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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