Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
