Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
