People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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