Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
