She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
