he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i dont even know how to be here
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
