Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
