Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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