Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Floor bacon is actually really good
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
