Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize