it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
