Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
