One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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