He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
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Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
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I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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