my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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