Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
