Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The Olympian is in my bed
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
