it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
